


The Ballad of Us

by moonhyun



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loyalty, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23081647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonhyun/pseuds/moonhyun
Summary: If you told first year Hongjoong that in five years he'd find himself fighting for his life while simultaneously saving the life of one of his friends, he would believe you.-or-Sixth year Kim Hongjoong thought that all he'd have to worry about was studying for NEWTs, but with the group of friends he has and the sudden addition of a sixth year Slytherin that's more mysterious than the dark side of the moon, Hongjoong's not sure what to expect anymore.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 24
Kudos: 86





	1. Beginning of it All

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to The Ballad of Us! 
> 
> This may sound familiar, nd it's because of the fact that this was previously written for BAP. I felt that the plot fit ATEEZ a lot better than it did for BAP, so I hope you can understand why I decided to rewrite it. But don't worry, some members may appear throughout the story (as well as members of other groups, too).
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the first chapter and my first fic for ATEEZ! 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! ^^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know where this is coming from," he said. "But nothing bad will happen to you or anyone else. I won't allow it."
> 
> "Okay."

The morning sun was warm against his skin as Hongjoong looked out the window, watching as the forest moved away from them at a steady pace, a fraction of it being lost in the thick smoke from the train. His hands rest in his lap, clasped loosely around a book. The cloth of his robes was soft against his hands whenever he shifted. He had changed into them a little while ago, opting to get the task out of the way so he could spend more of his time reading. It was a book his father had given him on his first day at Platform 9 ¾ as a way to congratulate him. The book was a favorite of his, kept in pristine shape despite all the times he had read it. It was a small comfort that Hongjoong greatly appreciated.

Going into his sixth year, Hongjoong had concluded, was something that he was excited for. Despite the pressure of starting NEWT level subjects, this was the year that he was most confident in. Releasing a soft sigh, Hongjoong turned his attention back to his book, flipping to the next page gently.

Before he could dive deeply back into the book, a soft click from the cart door caught his attention. The first thing his eyes fell on when he looked over were the scarlet and gold accents of the newcomer's robes, a contrast to his own blue and bronze. Their eyes met when Hongjoong looked up, the other's eyes sharp and intense regardless that it was still early morning. They sat in silence as they looked at one another, the newcomer's hands resting atop of his luggage. "Ravenclaw," he said, his voice low.

"Gryffindor," Hongjoong replied.

Their stare-off was broken a few seconds later when a grin bloomed across the Gryffindor's lips. He slid the door farther enough so that he could bring his luggage through, sitting it on top of the seat across from where Hongjoong was seated. Hongjoong smiled back when the other boy turned, embracing him in a hug. "Hello, Yunho."

"Hey, Joong."

Yunho had been his best friend since as long as Hongjoong could remember. All of his memories, including some that he would rather forget, had Yunho in there somewhere. He was there when Hongjoong's father died his third year at Hogwarts; he had gotten the news from an urgent letter his mother sent. He can still feel the paper crunching beneath his fist and see how his tears that fell soaked into it. He can still feel Yunho's hand on his own when he pulled the paper away from his shaking fingers and how warm his arms felt when he was wrapped in them. It was one of Hongjoong's weakest moments, and the gratitude that he feels for Yunho is something that he'll never be able to explain.

"How was your summer?" Yunho asked as if he himself wasn't with him for most of it.

Hongjoong smiled and closed his book; he'll get a chance to read more later. "It was good. Mom sent you some snacks with me this morning. You can get them now if you want."

Yunho smiled wide and grabbed Hongjoong's trunk, opening it up and searching through it until he pulled the small box of treats out with a triumphant yell. Taking a seat next to Hongjoong, he opened the box and took out one of the pumpkin pasties and bit into it. He shot Hongjoong a look. "Your mother is an angel."

"That she is," Hongjoong chuckled.

The two sat in a comfortable silence as Yunho snacked on his treats. It was how the two usually spent their time together—most of the time it was just the two of them sitting together in the silence, Hongjoong reading his books and Yunho writing something down in one of the many notebooks that he kept. Every time Hongjoong went to steal a glance at what he was writing when curiosity got the better of him, Yunho would pinch his arm until he yelped and turned back to his book. 

"Where's San?" Hongjoong asked. "Don't you two catch the train together?"

San was a very sharp yet unpredictable personality that was starting his fifth year at Hogwarts along with Yunho, with his spot sealed as Slytherin's best Seeker on the Quidditch team that they have seen in years. The boy had won his house many games with his skills, his fast flying and more-than-perfect ability to keep his eye on the Snitch leading them to the possession of the Quidditch Cup. It was ironic, really, that he was able to do such things despite his constant squinting while off the field. Hongjoong's positive the kid needed glasses.

Slytherin would've won the Cup for the third year in a row last year if it wasn't for one of the players on the opposing team knocking the bludger violently into San's broom right before he caught the Snitch, sending him spiraling into the field below. The damage was only a broken arm that had San moping about in the infirmary while Wooyoung, his best friend, fussed over him.

Yunho swallowed the last bite of his treat and nodded. "He's off with Yeosang, said he had a question about the OWLs."

Hongjoong hummed. They talked the rest of the way there, talking about everything and nothing all at once. It was peaceful, something that Hongjoong thought he was going to need a lot of this year. While him and Yunho most likely had some classes together, the differences of their House made it a little difficult to find the time to hang out; and, of course, house rivalries still burned bright to this day. It would've been worse, though, had Hongjoong been sorted into Slytherin.

The two stepped off the train once it stopped at Hogsmeade Station hours later, pulling their luggage behind them into the crowd of students as fatigue from being couped up in the train lay heavy against their shoulders. A waving hand among the crowd caught their attention, and it took a moment for Hongjoong to realize who it was.

"Hey guys!" San smiled as he beckoned them over. Yeosang hovered at his side, his robes still a little too big for him. His dark roots were showing, finally growing against the light brown that he had got in the summer.

"Someone's in a good mood," Yunho said once they got over to them. "Look Hongjoong, it's a miracle."

San huffed, but there was a gleam in his eye that meant he wasn't as annoyed as he made himself out to be. "I don't think you should be talking like that to a Prefect."

His words made them do a double-take. There, shining in the late evening sun, was the Slytherin Prefect badge, sitting proudly on the lapel above his heart. San looked smug.

"Congratulations, Sannie," Hongjoong smiled as Yunho gawked, striding forward to get a better look.

"They made _you_ Prefect? Merlin help those first years."

San looked offended, now. "Hey! I'll have you know that the first years love me!"

Hongjoong rolled his eyes and looked to Yeosang as the two bickered, shaking his head. Yeosang chuckled.

"Come on guys," Hongjoong interrupted. "Let's find Wooyoung so we won't miss the carriage."

As if on cue, a high pitched shout rang somewhere to their left, followed by a rush of blonde wavy hair shoving them all into one hug. Hongjoong struggled to keep his footing so he wouldn't fall into Yunho and possibly take the rest down along with them. He settled his hand against Wooyoung's back, steadying him.

"Sorry," Wooyoung said sheepishly, pulling away from everyone. He smiled and Hongjoong instantly felt warm at the sight of something so bright. "I just really missed you guys."

"We missed you too, Woo." Yunho ruffled the latter's hair, the action brightening his smile—if that was even possible.

After a brief catching up, they all took hold of their luggage and made their way to where the carriages waited for the students. The absence of steads that would lead the carriages didn't deter him too much, the Thestrals something that hadn't frightened him since he was a first year. Even so, out of all of them Wooyoung was the only one who could see them.

"There's no need to be scared of them," Wooyoung had told them when Hongjoong was in his third year. "They won't harm you. They're very well tamed."

They all knew the reason why Wooyoung could see them, but it was a sensitive subject that none of them dared to bring up, especially if the Hufflepuff was around. So when Wooyoung walked up to one and patted it on its back, they only smiled at him.

Hongjoong hoisted his trunk into the carriage and helped Yeosang with his when he looked like he was struggling. Hongjoong clapped his hands together. "All set." Met with silence, Hongjoong faced Yeosang. The younger's eyes were unfocused, staring into nothing. Furrowing his brows, Hongjoong settled a hand on his shoulder. Yeosang flinched and took a step back before his eyes landed on Hongjoong.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Yeosang mumbled.

"Is there anything bothering you?" Hongjoong questioned. "You can always tell me."

Yeosang looked apprehensive. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then immediately closed it. After a few moments of this, he sighed. "Promise you won't tell the others? I don't want them fussing over something that's most likely nothing; especially Yunho."

Hongjoong, despite knowing that Yunho will always somehow find out anything and everything one way or another, stuck out his pinky to the younger. He knew how overbearing Yunho could be when it came to the worries of his friends. Yeosang wrapped his own pinky around Hongjoong's, sticking their thumbs together.

Satisfied, Yeosang took a breath. "Ever since I woke up this morning," he began, slowly. "I've had this...feeling that something was going to happen—something bad. I can't shake it."

Hongjoong didn't know how to reply to that. As the eldest of their friend group, it was only natural that the others would come to him with their problems, looking for advice or just someone willing to listen as they vented. He always offered some kind words after, reassuring them that everything will work out and they'll be okay. But with how worry etched it's way into Yeosang's eyes, the only thing that came to his mind was to take the other's hand and squeeze it gently. He wasn't the best at physical contact, that was more San's or Wooyoung's forte, but it was something nonetheless.

"I don't know where this is coming from," he said. "But nothing bad will happen to you or anyone else. I won't allow it."

Yeosang kept eye contact for a few seconds more until his shoulders sagged slightly. "Okay."

Hongjoong smiled reassuringly at him and stepped into the carriage, Yeosang following suit. The others filed in soon after, but not until after they bickered on who sat where. San was set on sitting between Yeosang and Wooyoung while Yunho complained on the lack of space he had to stretch his long legs. Wooyoung, however, was content with wherever he sat, the small smile he sported never leaving.

Looking at the faces of his best friends, Hongjoong felt warmth growing in his chest. Despite their contrasting personalities, they all fit together like a puzzle; one that often times was difficult to figure out and put together, but once you did the picture that awaited you was more than worth the time and patience it took.

Hongjoong always liked puzzles.

It wasn't too long before the carriage stopped, signaling their arrival at Hogwarts. Energy buzzed all around them as the students filed into the castle, excited chatter filling every nook and cranny of the halls. From the corner of his eye, Hongjoong saw San disperse from them as they entered the Great Hall, falling in sync with a sea of jade and silver, talking animatedly with another Prefect. Hongjoong's glad that San was able to find his own friends apart from the group; his muggle-born status wasn’t very kind to him in his first three years at Hogwarts. During that time Hongjoong found himself, more often than not, with a tearful San in his arms, asking through his sobs why he couldn’t have been like everyone else. How even Wooyoung's half-blood genes would suffice if it meant the emotional turmoil he went through ended.

In spite of his uncaring facade, San was a person who desperately wanted to be liked by everyone. Hongjoong tried to reason with him that being liked by everyone didn’t matter, especially since he had Hongjoong and the others. The younger would just sniffle and shrug, wipe away his tears on the sleeves of his robes and go on with the rest of the day like nothing happened, the carefully practiced smile back on his lips as if it had never left.

Hongjoong knew that they would have to sit with their respective House on the the first day, so he doesn’t fret when Yunho leaves with a wave, flopping into his seat next to his younger cousin Jongho and wrapping a long arm around his shoulders. Wooyoung stayed with him for a longer moment—Yeosang having already taken his seat at the Ravenclaw table—seeming to not want to leave his side. Hongjoong smiled and pushed Wooyoung gently towards the rest of the Hufflepuffs. “Go on, Woo. I’ll see you later.”

With a reluctant smile, Wooyoung nodded and weaved his way to his table, taking a seat towards the end and next to a bright-eyed Mingi.

Hongjoong made his way to his own table, taking a seat that was offered by one of his Housemates and across from Yeosang The boy, Hongjoong recognized as Eunwoo, sends him a warm smile. “Hello, Hongjoong,” he says, his voice cheery. “I hope you got here without difficulty.” His words were laced with something that calmed whatever nevers Hongjoong still had left, his eyes shining with warm concern that watched over Hongjoong, looking for anything out of place.

Hongjoong liked Eunwoo. The Prefect always looked out for everyone, not only his fellow Ravenclaw, and Hongjoong admired him for that. In a place where Houses mostly determined your friends, Eunwoo was like a breath of fresh air. If someone needed his help, he’ll gladly hand it out, no matter who you were. If you needed a friend, he was there with a gentle hand and an even softer smile.

“I did, thank you,” Hongjoong replied.

The Great Hall continued to fill with noise: chatter happened between reuniting friends and laughter filling in spaces. This continued on until someone at the front of the hall cleared their throat. The hall was plunged into silence. There, at the podium at the end of the room, stood Headmaster Jiyong.

Headmaster Jiyong was one of the most respected wizards in and out of Hogwarts. His presence was like no other, constantly drawing attention to himself even with the smallest of movements. He was shorter than one would expect, but the power and regality that swam in his eyes made up for it. His sharp eyes gave the effect that he was more aggressive than he seemed, but once you got the chance to talk to him, Headmaster Jiyong was someone who wore his heart on his sleeve and he wasn't afraid to show it. He wasn't afraid to let anyone know that, either. He took pride in that.

“Good evening, everyone,” he started. “First, I'd like to welcome you all back for another year. I'm sure you all missed each other, haven't you?” The hall erupted with cheers. He can see from his peripheral Yunho clapping with Jongho seated behind him, looking like he’d rather be doing anything else.

Headmaster Jiyong held up a hand and the hall fell silent. “With the new year brings new experiences, some good and some bad. I hope you all find ways to turn the bad ones into something great, and the good ones even greater. I know you’re all more than capable.” A smile curled at the corners of his lips and he scanned his gaze among every student. Hongjoong caught his eye, and the gleam that was present threw him off, like he knew something that Hongjoong didn’t. “Here’s to another great year.”

With his final words the sorting began. Hongjoong didn't pay too much attention to it, opting to shift his attention to his book as he slipped it out from his pocket. He picked up a few things here and there: the gasp of a Hufflepuff boy who was sure that he'd get sorted into Slytherin, the cheers of the other Ravenclaw whenever someone was sorted into their house. Hongjoong always found this part of the night rather boring, so it was only when the announcement of food reached his ears did he put his book away.

The golden dishes were immediately filled with a variety of foods and Hongjoong watched as the students around him piled their plates full with roast beef and various side dishes. He filled his cup and took a sip, the taste of pumpkin juice sweet against his tongue. He ate in silence as he listened to Eunwoo talk about this years Quidditch games, nodding and putting in his two cents when it was needed. It wasn't necessarily his topic of choice to talk about, preferring to talk about literature, social issues or music, but he wasn't opposed to it. Although, Eunwoo would have a better chance talking with either San or Jongho, or possibly Yunho, even though the latter wasn't on a team himself. Yunho just liked to know everything about anything (especially if it was something his cousin was involved in). Maybe it helped that his cousin was a Chaser for Gryffindor.

When dinner was finished and the dessert arrived, Hongjoong found himself to be too tired to eat anymore. He bid his goodbyes to Eunwoo and Yeosang and stood, heading out of the Great Hall. He met Yunho's gaze, whose eyes burned bright with curiosity and slight concern. Hongjoong only waved his hand and exited out the doors and made his way to the Ravenclaw common room. He knew Yunho was always worried when it came to his friends, wanting nothing more than to make sure they were all safe, happy and healthy. Hongjoong adored that about him.

The Ravenclaw common room was silent when he entered, but he knew soon that it will be broken once his Housemates returned. Hongjoong relished in the silence as he made his way to the dormitories, pushing the door that led to his room open. Sitting at the edge of his bed, the one closest to the window, he thought about the events that happened today. Yeosang's confession along with Headmaster Jiyong's knowing glance sent a chill down his spine. It was one thing when your friend had worries, everyone did, but with the words that the Headmaster said that accompanied his stare seemed to connect somehow. Whatever it was, Hongjoong was positive that it would end up okay. He'd make sure of it.

Sighing, Hongjoong flopped against the mattress, his hair bouncing and falling around him like a halo.

This was going to be an interesting year.


	2. And The Snakes Start to Sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He gripped his robes tightly, his fingers shaking and knuckles white. He can't think about that here. If he does, the resolve he had built up would break and leave him vulnerable. 
> 
> He can't allow himself to be vulnerable. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 2! i hope u all enjoy it at treat seonghwa kindly ^^
> 
> some parts may be a lil confusing but they'll be explained more in the next chapter!
> 
> as before, comments are appreciated <3

Seonghwa was nervous. He doesn't look it though, his eyes sharp and brows pulled into a slight scowl as he focused on the large bookcases that circled the room. The only telltale sign was the trembling of his hands that lay in his lap, pale against the black of the robes the Headmaster had given him when he had arrived earlier that morning. They were weighted and soft, the jade and silver accents catching his eye whenever he looked down at his hands. He reached up and fingered the crest with the snake that rested just below his heart for the second time that day, his touch feather light. Seonghwa traced the body of the serpent up and down, over and over again, carving the shape of it into his memory.

The Ministry had brought him to Hogwarts. He had known the Aurors that escorted him since he was a child—they had been close friends with his father. Although they could be intimidating, they were kind and generous, even after everything that happened with Seonghwa and his parents. They did change, however; Yunho smiled less and was tense more often than not, and Changmin kept himself at a distance while observing everyone with an accusing eye. They were different, and so was Seonghwa. Nothing any of them could do would change that. 

"This is your home now," Yunho had said to him before they left, Changmin busy with talking to the Headmaster, looking Seonghwa over with soft eyes and a strained smile on his lips. He doesn't remember the last time Yunho had genuinely smiled at him. "It will protect you." 

He doesn't deserve to be protected, Seonghwa thinks. They will only be put in danger by keeping Seonghwa here. He had told the Headmaster this afterwards, but he just waved a decorated hand, dismissing the thought. His eyes were hard but not unkind when he replied. "Places like this will always stay standing, no matter how great the danger may be. You will too."

Seonghwa didn't know what he had meant, but the Headmaster had changed the subject before he could even think to ask, talking about what he should expect when attending here. He left the room not too long after.

Seonghwa shifted in his seat. The itching under his skin had returned, heating him up from the inside out. It was a constant reminder of what had happened, never relenting when he wanted to forget it the most. The dark walls always encased him in his dreams—imprisoned even in his sleep—but now the darkness flowed in his blood. He was tainted and forever will be. 

He gripped his robes tightly, his fingers shaking and knuckles white. He can't think about that here. If he does, the resolve he had built up would break and the mask that he had meticulously constructed would crumble before him and leave him vulnerable.

He can't allow himself to be vulnerable. Not again. 

The sound of the door opening pulled him from his thoughts and Seonghwa sat up straighter, fixing the practiced impassiveness back onto his face. He clasped his hands back in his lap as the Headmaster reentered the room, hiding any indication that something was wrong. 

Headmaster Jiyong sent him a smile. "I sent after a student to help get you settled in. It's only the second day of the school year, so you'll have plenty of time. They should be here shortly." 

He waited for Seonghwa to nod before making his way to his desk. He doesn't sit, instead taking a couple of the various pieces of candy from the small bowl and popping them into his mouth. 

The Headmaster wasn't like any other wizard, besides Yunho and Changmin, that Seonghwa had ever met. They had been reserved and cold, some even cruel, hardly even sparing a glance his way despite the fact that they had knew or even worked with his father; Seonghwa had wondered why, but he realizes now that he had always known. The Headmaster was warm and playful and had even attempted to lighten up Seonghwa's mood by offering him some of his candy and cracking a few jokes. Seonghwa had declined the candy and couldn't find it in himself to laugh, but he was thankful in the older's efforts to make him comfortable. Albeit even if it did make him a little awkward. 

A soft knock against the door sometime later interrupts their shared silence.

"Come in," Headmaster Jiyong called out. The door opened and entered a boy in garments that matched Seonghwa's. He looked not much younger than him, his features delicate with high cheekbones and gleaming eyes that resembled the snake on the crest on his robes. There's a badge that shines in the light against the lapel of his cloak, but Seonghwa's too far away to see what it says. His hair was a little unusual, the sides of it braided and silver while the rest of it a deep black. Seonghwa's never seen a hairstyle like this before, but it was nice; different. 

The boy's eyes flicker over to him before turning to the older wizard and bowing slightly. Seonghwa's glad that he doesn't stare. 

"Seonghwa, this is San," Headmaster Jiyong gestures to the newcomer. "He'll be the one to show you the ropes, although I don't think you'll have any trouble. San, this is our new transfer. I can trust you to make him comfortable, yes?"

San looks at him again, this time with unconcealed wonder in his eyes. His face breaks out into a large, blinding smile that lights up the room and he chuckles. "Of course! It's nice to meet you, Seonghwa." His voice is bubbly and Seonghwa stores the sound into the deepest parts of his memory for later. The concept of laughter had almost became foreign to him. He doesn't ever want to forget. 

Seonghwa blinks and all of a sudden he's being pulled to his feet. San's hand is smaller yet warmer than his own. When he looks up from their joined hands, Seonghwa's met with an even wider smile and the badge that read Prefect. "You'll love it here," he says, and the surety that's laced in his voice makes it hard for Seonghwa to doubt him, no matter how hard he tries to.

When San pulls him by the hand out the door and into the hallway, feverishly rambling about this and that and Seonghwa catches the mention of a cat, Seonghwa promises himself that he won't taint the beaming boy, or anyone else, with his darkness. He'll put on another mask and make sure that he keeps his distance from everyone else, even if that meant making them keep their distance from _him_.

He shouldn't be there, but that doesn't mean that he has to ruin everyone else who should be.

"Would you prefer to go to the Great Hall first or the Dungeon?"

San had been talking so much—not that he minded—that Seonghwa had barely noticed the question, but the mention of the dungeon piqued his interest.

"Dungeon?"

San nodded. "Mhm! The Slytherin Dungeon! It's the common room where us Slytherin stay while we're here; only people like us are allowed in. Mainly, anyway, but that doesn't keep the students from other houses from visiting their friends." It's obvious that San is guilty of this, if the grin that pulled against his lips is anything to go by. "It is lunchtime, though, so I understand if you want to eat first."

The mention of food sounds amazing, but the idea of seeing the Dungeon makes his curiosity bubble over. "I wish to see the Dungeon."

San's smile morphs into a smirk. "Then let's go!"

San leads him down numerous flights of stairs. Seonghwa's staring at the collection of paintings that line the walls when a step vanishes from beneath him, tripping him. He let's out a yelp before San catches him and pulls him onto the step above.

"Sorry! I should've warned you about those," San apologized. "If you don't memorize which step to jump over you'll fall right through."

Seonghwa nods, too shocked to answer directly. San jumps over to the other step and beckons Seonghwa to do the same. After a moment of hesitation, Seonghwa follows suit, leaping from one step to the other with his heart in his throat. San beams at him when he lands and grabs back onto his wrist, leading him down the rest of the staircase. 

Seonghwa wants to free himself from San's hold, but the already bubbling guilt that's burrowing in his chest will worsen if he was the cause of San's smile dimming. He'll start his plan tomorrow after he's given his situation more thought. For now, he'll let himself indulge in San's stories of his cat Byeol who he'll be able to meet once they arrive.

When they finally reach the bottom of the stairs and what Seonghwa guesses is the Entrance Hall, San guides him passed the large entrance doors and to the farther side of the Hall. He opens a door and behind it is another set of stairs. 

"Don't worry, these ones don't disappear." San looks at him over his shoulder. The relief that floods through Seonghwa is great. 

The door shuts behind him and the two of them walk down the stone steps in the first mutual silence since they met. It feels slightly out of place, especially since Seonghwa's being lead to somewhere he's never been before. His stomach begins to churn when he realizes that he's being lead underground. 

They turn onto a platform and the end of the stairs is a small room with a stone floor and walls that were lit by a couple wall sconce. San walked up to the bare wall that stood before them and rests a hand against the surface. San turns to face him. 

"All the common rooms require some sort of password to enter. Luckily, ours is easy to remember and changes every fortnight." He turns back towards the wall and, loud enough so Seonghwa to hear, whispers, " _Dazzling light._ "

The wall begins to shift, the stones seeming to melt and dissipate into the thin air and Seonghwa watches in awe. His parents had told him about secret rooms and corridors when he was first old enough to understand the magic that flowed through his genes—they had one of their own hidden in their house—but the way it transformed was so unlike the others he ha seen before.

San walks backwards into the passageway with his hands clasped behind his back, a catlike grin blooming across his features. There's a gleam in his eye that Seonghwa recognizes as pride. 

"Welcome to the snake pit, Seonghwa."

Seonghwa's giddy as they make their way further into the passageway and into the large expanse of the room. It was dark and elaborate with windows that stretched to the ceiling at the far end of the room, looking out into the deep waters of Hogwarts Lake and giving the space a green tinge. The room is lit by lanterns that hung from the walls, basking everything it touches with a silver glow. Lavish green couches and chairs were set about the room; one large couch sat in front of the lit fireplace and over that, a painting of a snake. A few students lounged on the couches and sat at the few tables, watching him with analyzing stares and cold curiosity.

San skipped over to one of the chairs by the windows. In it sat a girl with hair as white as moonlight and charcoal rimmed, gimlet eyes that looked up from the book she had been reading. A badge like San's glinted from her lapel, the words Head Girl being the only difference. 

"Seonghwa, this is Slytherin's Head Girl, Jiwoo! Seonghwa's our new transfer this year."

Jiwoo looks him up and down, pinning him to his spot. Seonghwa makes it a point to not shift under her scrutinizing gaze; he had gotten used to the stares and examinations of spectators and Aurors alike. It was a part of his life now no matter how much he hated it.

"Hello," she says finally after a while and, surprisingly, gives him a smile. "If you have any questions, all of us here are always willing to help." 

Seonghwa doubts that, but gives her his thanks anyway.

"Myungjun is our Head Boy, but he's at lunch right now. You'll meet him eventually." San adds before he waves at Jiwoo and tugs on the sleeves of his cloak. "Come, this way is the dormitory."

They go up a winding staircase and into another hallway with doors on either side of it. San opens the one at the farthest end and eagerly pushes him through. The four-poster beds that lined the walls looked softer than any Seonghwa had slept on in a long time, probably even more so than the bed in the guest room at Yunho's house. 

A soft meow from the other side of the room caught his attention. He looks just in time to see San scoop up a brown and cream colored cat, its blue eyes stark against the dark fur of its face. Its tail swung slowly as San rocked it lovingly in his arms. "This is Byeol! Isn't she the cutest?"

Byeol was, in fact, pretty cute. Seonghwa had never seen a cat with a color scheme quite like hers before, especially not one with such bright blue eyes. Her coat was short and well groomed and Seonghwa found himself reaching out to stroke her fur before he even realized.

Byeol purred against his touch, leaning into the hand that scratched against her cheek. Seonghwa felt the corners of his mouth twitch.

San gasped. "Hey, that's the first time I've seen you smile since you've been here!"

Seonghwa winced and pulled his hand away quickly, as if he had been burned. He schooled is expression again. He was letting San get too close to him. It seems that he'll have to start his plan now, instead.

"I'd like to have lunch now," Seonghwa retorted, his voice tight. 

San blinked at him with a slight frown that would've gone unnoticed if Seonghwa hadn't already been searching for it. Seonghwa is stunned, though, when the frown is replaced with a smile as fast as it had came, not a trace of it left to be seen. It wasn't like the other smiles that Seonghwa had seen before: the corners of his lips tight and sharp and it looked practiced and _fake_.

It's in that moment that Seonghwa realizes that this lively boy lives with a mask of his own.

San lets Byeol jump from his arms and onto one of the beds. "Okay. Let's go, then."

The Great Hall is bustling with students as they ate and talked with their peers, a mass of blues, reds, yellows and greens. The sight of it makes Seonghwa want to turn around and head back to the common room. It's been a long time since he's been in such a space with so many people his age and he can't help but feel as if it's worse than when the investigation was at it's peak. 

San had been quiet on their way there, only speaking when he told Seonghwa something that he should remember. He feels like a jerk, but this was necessary for both him and everyone else. 

Four long tables sat at the center of the Hall and lanterns looked to hang freely from a seemingly never ending ceiling. At the front of the room on a raised platform was another table perpendicular to the others. Headmaster Jiyong sat at the center of the table, talking softly with the taller man that sat at his side. Seonghwa catches his eye and the Headmaster winks at him before resuming his conversation. 

San lead him towards the table closest to the doors, weaving them through students that stood up to take their leave. San stopped near the middle of the table where a group of students sat, not one of them Slytherin. 

"Sannie, it's about time you showed up! I was beginning to worry," a boy with wavy blonde hair said from the other side of the table. The crest on his robes was black and yellow with a small badger at the center of it. The boy seemed to just notice Seonghwa's presence when his eyes trailed behind San. His voice became quieter. "Um, who's this?"

Five heads turned towards Seonghwa and he counted another black and yellow crest, two red and gold and two blue and bronze. One look around the rest of the students and it was obvious that this wasn't there respective table. 

"Guys, this is our new transfer, Seonghwa! I've been showing him around a little." San said and made to sit across the boy, nudging the taller blonde that sat next to him with his elbow. The boy grumbled under his breath and slid over. The redhead on the other side of him chuckled. Seonghwa carefully sat down between the two. 

"Welcome to Hogwarts, Seonghwa," One of the boys with the blue and bronze accents said with a soft voice. "I'm Yeosang, and this is Wooyoung." He points at the blonde beside him.

The tall one next to Seonghwa swallows a bite of his food. "I'm Yunho, and the little one over there is my cousin, Jongho. The giraffe next to me is Mingi."

"Aren't you taller than me?" Mingi whines while slighting pushing Yunho. The latter laughs.

Seonghwa turns to the last stranger. He's wearing the same colors as Yeosang, his hair a silver-white that falls somewhat over his round eyes with a sloped nose. There's an expression pinching his features that Seonghwa can't read but he knew he was being judged Hongjoong's eyes flicker between Seonghwa and San, the latter not meeting his gaze as he picks at his food. With one more glance at San he replied, his voice clipped, "Hongjoong."

Hongjoong didn't say another word as lunch went on, either taking to reading the book that Seonghwa didn't realize he had or staring at Seonghwa with no subtlety whatsoever. It was starting to make his skin itch and Seonghwa was getting irritated.

"Take a picture and it'll last longer," he hears himself say. 

The others fall silent around them. Hongjoong's eyes were disdainful when he looked up from his food. He hadn't taken a single bite.

"What did you say?" Hongjoong's lip curled ever so slightly. 

"I don't recall stumbling over my words," Seonghwa says coolly, despite the fire burning under his skin. "I'm sure you heard me just fine."

Hongjoong stands abruptly, his book falling from his hands and onto the table with a quiet thump. Yunho stood up from beside Seonghwa almost immediately after, his shoulders tense and hands in loose fists, ready for anything.

"What did you do to San?" Hongjoong bites out.

 _Ah_.

San straightens from his slouched position. "Joong—"

"I didn't _do_ anything," Seonghwa growls. "I didn't come here to make friends; especially not with the likes of any of you." The others flinch in his peripheral, and something in Seonghwa's chest flares.

Seonghwa stands without another word and leaves the table, flicking the sleeves of his cloak as he does so. He ignores the burning under his skin and holds his head high. The guilt from before starts to boil over but Seonghwa pushes it aside. This is what needed to happen, even if the others were his first chance at friends in a very long time. 

It was for their safety. 

Seonghwa tossed and turned in his bed that night, his fists clutching the sheets in a death-like grip in his sleep. Beads of sweat dripped from his forehead and onto his pillow. 

The figures sneer behind his eyelids as their magic seeped deeply and painfully into his skin. He wants to cry, wants to scream for his mother and father, but he knew his efforts would be fruitless. They were both dead and wouldn't come back for him no matter how desperately he pleaded. 

Seonghwa's eyes snapped open, a shout caught in his throat. His chest heaves with the heaviness of his breaths as he stares straight up to the top of his bed. The nightmares were normal and frequent, but he always had Yunho, or even Changmin when he stayed over, by his side to soothe him through it. Now he's more alone than he's ever been. He blew the chance to make friends, to finally have some people that he can confide in, and that was his fault. He deserves to be alone.

Seonghwa scratches at his forearm absentmindedly, the after effects of the magic that was still in his blood vibrating through his body. He wants to dig into himself until it's all out, until the darkness finally leaves his body and leaves him pure once more.

Sighing, Seonghwa sighs and shifts onto his side. He won't be able to fall back asleep, but that doesn't stop him from closing his eyes and remembering a better time; a time to where he still laughed as a pair of smiles beamed down on Seonghwa like the sun.

He doesn't catch San peaking through the curtain pulled around his own bed. 


	3. Out With the New, In With the Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It won't be easy."
> 
> "No, it won't be," he agreed. "But we've dealt with more difficult things."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to chapter 3! this seems more of a filler, but i hope it sheds a little light about what happened in the previous chapter.
> 
> also thank you so much to everyone who's left kudos and kind comments. it means so much to me that you all are enjoying this! 
> 
> i hope u enjoy this chapter as well :)

Hongjoong's eyes glared into the back of Seonghwa's head as he watched the Slytherin leave. His hands were clenched into tight fists where he leaned on them against the table, his knuckles white and shaking slightly.

He knew something was wrong with San the moment they arrived at the table. If Hongjoong hadn't known the other so well he would've thought that he was fine, but the way that his smile pinched at his cheeks and didn't reach his eyes made him realize that this wasn't _San_ , but a carefully put up front to hide everything inside, everything that made him who he was, in shadow. 

It was so easy to make San put up his walls, so easy to tug at his insecurities and the frail threads that held him together.

But it was so hard to tear the walls down in fear of San himself falling. It was a waiting game—waiting for the right moment where a crack was visible enough to start picking at. It was hard to get San back, but when the smile that lit up the room returned, it was all worth it.

Hongjoong waited until Seonghwa was out of sight before plopping roughly back into his seat, his appetite long gone. He pushed his plate to the side towards Wooyoung, ignoring the glances that the others sent his way. He prodded his temple, a headache already settling behind his eyes. Hongjoong sighed and picked up his book from where it fell on the table, pocketing it. He risked a glance at Yunho and found him already looking back, unashamed that he had been caught staring. Concern creased his brow and asked a question that had Hongjoong sighing again.

_Are you okay?_

His lips twitched into what Hongjoong hoped was a smile, but was probably more of a grimace, and turned to San. "Sannie?"

San didn't react right away, his gaze locked on where Seonghwa previously sat next to him. His eyes were dark and far away, but Hongjoong didn't worry. He's been through this before, and Hongjoong and the others will pull him out of it.

Yunho reached through the space between them and wrapped his hand around San's wrist, gentle and grounding. Yunho could've covered San's whole hand with his own if he wanted to—it was certainly big enough—but the touch wasn't meant to encase him. It was to bring him back to his surroundings and give him the choice to pull away.

He didn't.

San looked up at Hongjoong a moment later, his eyes dull and heavy and so _tired_.

All San wanted was to be liked, to be wanted.

To be loved.

Hongjoong smiled at him, this time a little more sincerely, a little more sadly. "You've had a long day. Why don't you go rest before classes start again?"

San looked almost ready to protest, but then Wooyoung stood up. "I'll go with you," he reassured with a beaming smile.

Something small pushed slightly against San's wall as he looked up at Wooyoung, and it was gone just as quick before Hongjoong could tell what it was.

"Okay," San whispered.

Yunho let his hand fall to his side when San stood slowly, almost languidly, and waited for Wooyoung to round the table to stand next to him before they left.

Hongjoong sighed again. It really was a long day, just only lunchtime, and he felt he was ready to collapse from exhaustion any minute now.

Why did Seonghwa have such an effect on him? He had never lost his control like that at someone before. But the way San didn't look like himself next to a cold and impassive Seonghwa, something inside Hongjoong had shifted and pulled, claws sharp and at the ready.

He didn't know Seonghwa, or what had really happened between him and San. Yet, despite not wanting to get to know the Slytherin, he was _curious_. Curious about the what's and why's and the how's.

It was his worst trait.

"I don't like him," Mingi stated around a bite of food. Yunho nodded next to him.

"Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot," Yeosang added in, his voice quiet. "Remember; we don't know what really happened, or if anything happened at all. There's always a chance to start over. It's never too late to make amends."

Kang Yeosang, forever the most reasonable and patient of their group.

Hongjoong didn't know if he envied that.

"Even if there is," Hongjoong chimed in, his voice surprisingly leveled to his own ears. "He's still the reason why San came back like that. Whatever the case may be, I don't trust him."

Hongjoong pulled his bag over his shoulder and turned away from the table, bidding his goodbyes with a quiet _see you later_ and made his way out of the Great Hall. He could feel more than hear Yunho follow after him, like he always did.

Yunho stayed a pace behind him, giving Hongjoong the space for a moment to catch his breath for however long he needed. Yunho was a force to be reckoned with, no doubt about it, but he was also the kindest soul Hongjoong ever had the fortune to meet. Yunho was a piece of Hongjoong that let himself be vulnerable around, let himself have the amount of comfort he needed to lower his own shields. He was ready to catch Hongjoong if he happened to fall, like he had always done before; just like he did three years ago.

Hongjoong stopped a while later, sitting on one of the bottom steps of the staircase in the corridor. Yunho sat next to him, close enough to comfort but far enough not to crowd, and without hesitation Hongjoong let his head fall onto Yunho's shoulder.

They didn't talk for a while, the two of them just sitting in the silence. Hongjoong tried to gather his thoughts, but even the attempts on the good days were no more successful than now.

"Do you really not like him?" Hongjoong asked quietly.

Yunho shrugged softly. "Not really, but he made San upset, so I guess there's that."

Hongjoong hummed and toyed with the hem of his sleeve.

"Do _you_ not like him?"

"I don't know, I'm just...I'm sorry for lashing out like that, especially in front of you guys." Hongjoong muttered.

"It's okay, Joong. You don't need to apologize."

Hongjoong shifted to a more comfortable position against Yunho's shoulder. "There's just something about Seonghwa that doesn't sit right with me. Like, why did he transfer? Why does he seem so...closed off and defensive? I don't know, sorry if I'm not making sense."

Yunho flicked him against his forehead and Hongjoong yelped. "I said stop apologizing. You're just curious about someone new...even if they happen to have a stick up their ass."

Hongjoong suppressed a chuckle. "Curiosity killed the cat."

"But satisfaction brought it back," Yunho replied immediately. "You always bounce back."

Yunho knows Hongjoong like the back of his own hand, and Hongjoong always forgets that.

Hongjoong sighed. He's been doing that a lot lately, he thinks.

"Maybe Yeosang was right," Hongjoong lifted his head and sat up straight, stretching his arms and legs in front of him. He was definitely going to bed early tonight. "I guess a new start wouldn't hurt."

"Yeosang is always right," Yunho smiled.

Hongjoong nodded his head. Yeosang was known for his sharp and silver tongue (Hongjoong always wondered how he didn't get sorted into Slytherin like the rest of his family before), but he was always reasonable and level headed when Hongjoong's emotions started to get the best of him. He grabbed Hongjoong by his string and kept him from floating too far into the sky.

In some way, all of his friends fit into the empty places in Hongjoong that he thought he would have to fill in all on his own. Even if they were in the smallest of ways, they made him feel whole and complete; the most himself that Hongjoong had ever felt in his life.

He owed a lot to them.

Yunho shifted beside him, his brows pinched and mouth in a slight frown as he rested his arms atop of his knees. "What are we going to do if he turns us away? He did say he didn't come to make friends with people like us..."

_People like us._

Hongjoong smiled sadly. Yunho, out of all of them, was the most confident and didn't need to rely on the feelings and opinions of others. But that didn't mean he didn't have insecurities of his own. Yunho could deal with attacks if it was just aimed solely at him, but there were more people than just him and Hongjoong in their circle that needed to be protected. They've had to rebuild each other from the ground up so many times that the process was likely embedded into their muscles—they would do it a thousand more times, even if they shouldn't have to.

Hongjoong took Yunho's larger hand into his. His thumb pressed comfortingly into the others palm. "Don't worry, little lion," Hongjoong placated. Yunho's lips quirked at the familiar nickname. "You remember how Yeosang was. He was so difficult to bring out of his shell the first few months that we knew him. I don't think this will be any different."

Or, at least, Hongjoong hoped it wouldn't be.

A spark of doubt bloomed in his chest but Hongjoong shoved it down quickly. He already made a decision to get to know Seonghwa, to at least be friendly with him, and he wasn't going to let something so small change his mind.

"I don't think he has his schedule yet, and San isn't probably going to feel better for a little while, so I'll go apologize and we'll start from there once he's okay."

Yunho nodded, agreeing silently.

Soft, almost silent footsteps stopped a little to their right. Hongjoong didn't need to turn to know who it was.

Yeosang stood with his hands grasped loosely around the strap of his bag that slung over his shoulder. His eyes were impassive but not unkind, and the birthmark beside his left eye stood out distinctly against the sun rays that cascaded through the window.

"It won't be easy," he spoke quietly but clearly.

Hongjoong stood and turned to Yeosang, Yunho staying seated on the step. "No, it won't be," he agreed. "but we've dealt with more difficult things."

Wooyoung flooded into his mind, and no doubt the others' as well. The pained, broken expression that should never even threaten to appear on someone's face who was so bright and carefree flashed behind his eyelids whenever he blinked. Hongjoong resisted the urge to rub at his eyes, and flexed his fingers at his side.

Yunho cleared his throat and stood. "We should get going, that way we'll have enough time to check on San before classes start."

"You go on ahead," Hongjoong smiled quickly at their glances. "I want to talk to Yeosang for a bit while we walk to divination."

"I can walk with you guys— _ow_!"

Hongjoong pulled back the hand that flicked Yunho on the forehead with a grin. "I said don't worry. I'm sure Jongho and Mingi are waiting for you."

Rubbing his forehead with a pout, Yunho nodded and walked off, muttering under his breath how he didn't flick Hongjoong _that_ hard.

Hongjoong and Yeosang remained in their spot until Yunho turned the corner. Hongjoong faced Yeosang, the other meeting his gaze until it flickered to the floor.

"How are you, Sangie? Do you still have that feeling?" He asked quietly. He didn't want any passing ears to hear them. This was between Hongjoong and Yeosang only.

Yeosang bowed his head. "It's gotten worse. I could barely keep down my lunch today," He looked up at Hongjoong for a quick moment. "Particularly after everything with San."

"Is it like any of the ones you've had before?" Yeosang was always prone to gut feelings and some sort of a sixth sense, but it was always about something small; like when he knew Mingi was going to mess up his transfiguration homework or when Hongjoong was near his breaking point when he was working himself half to death studying.

It was never something that he couldn't explain and made him feel sick and anxious. This was different and a lot bigger than either of them expected.

Hongjoong didn't like that.

Hongjoong frowned when Yeosang shook his head. "Maybe we can talk with Professor Eden after class for his opinion," he said while patting Yeosang's head, smoothing out some of the strands.

Yeosang's expression softened under the touch. "I hope he can help."

Hongjoong smiled reassuringly at him. "Let's go."

The hallway outside of the Divination classroom was already crowded with students and, to both Hongjoong's and Yeosang's surprise, San was already there with Wooyoung. They sat against the window sill and talked quietly amongst each other. San didn't look too much better, but the glimmer was already returning to his eyes despite still looking tired and melancholic. It was slow progress, but it was progress nonetheless. 

Hongjoong and Yeosang weaved through the students to stand in front of the two and when they were close enough to hear, San let out a chuckle.

Hongjoong beamed and practically skipped the rest of the way. "I'm so happy to see that you're feeling a little better!" he exclaimed. 

Wooyoung jumped a little in surprise while San smiled slightly back at him. "Me too," he said, and then his eyes fell. "I'm sorry—"

"Don't," Hongjoong interrupted firmly. "You have nothing to apologize for."

San pursed his lips before nodding and smiling again. 

Yeosang took a seat next to Wooyoung, setting his bag in his lap. "How is your potion's work coming, Woo?"

Wooyoung groaned and slumped against Yeosang. "It's so hard! I do everything the instructions say, but it always comes out wrong! And Mingi isn't of any help because he's just as clueless as I am."

"I can help the both of you after dinner if you'd like?"

Wooyoung flung his arms around Yeosang's neck and ignored the older's attempts to free himself as he squeezed tightly. "You're heaven sent, Kang Yeosang!" 

Hongjoong watched the two of them with a smile. It was always nice to see his friends messing around and being the kids that they, even Hongjoong, always forgot that they were. 

Hongjoong shifted his gaze to San, the smile from earlier still present. However it was accompanied by the faintest spark of jealousy in his sharp eyes. Hongjoong isn't shocked to see it there, even if it's presence did come as some sort of surprise. San and Wooyoung were close, probably even more so than Hongjoong and Yunho, who have known each other since they were toddlers. Wooyoung was San's main pillar of strength ever since San figured out that the Hufflepuff wasn't pureblood like the rest of them. That information gave San a sense of acceptance and familiarity, and San always clung to something that let him feel like he wasn't just the odd one out. 

Despite this, Hongjoong could tell that somehow this was different than just the regular jealousy of a best friend being close with someone else. It felt more personal than he was comfortable with, but that didn't stop him from being curious. 

The chatter around them became quieter as footsteps flooded into the space. Professor Eden walked up to them with the slightest of smiles, the single black beaded feather stood out strong against his lengthy blonde hair. "Good afternoon, everyone," he greeted as he walked to the circular trapdoor and opened it with the flick of his wand. He stepped aside as he let the students climb the ladder first, nodding at the students that greeted him back as they climbed. 

"Will you be joining us, Mr. Jung?" he asked, his tone giving away that he already knew the answer. 

Wooyoung unlatched himself from Yeosang and stood. "Not today, Professor." He turned towards the rest of them, placing a hand on San's shoulder. "I'll see you guys later. Don't miss me too much!" 

San lifted his hand and squeezed Wooyoung's wrist lightly. The two shared a private smile before Wooyoung raced off, his robes a flurry behind him. San stared after him with the same look from lunch back on his face. 

"Mr. Choi, I thought he said not to miss him too much?" Professor Eden pointed out. None of them missed the way San sputtered and turned around, the tips of his ears dusted pink.

"I don't know what you're talking about," San muttered as he stood up from the window sill and grabbed his bag. He scurried to the ladder, making it a point to avoid Professor Eden's gaze. Something in his eyes shifted as he watched San climb the ladder, the dark brown of his irises becoming clouded before fading away. He turned towards Hongjoong and Yeosang, eyeing the two for a moment before he spoke. 

"Come in."

Hongjoong spotted San on the other side of the room when he climbed into the classroom, saving him and Yeosang seats at his table. Professor Eden closed the trapdoor the same way he opened it and made his way to stand in the center of the room. 

"Today, we'll be starting with tasseomancy," he stated while flicking his wand. Teacups appeared at each of the many tables in the room, empty save for the tea leaves at the bottom of the cup. He explained the lesson but Hongjoong tuned it out, already charming his cup to fill with hot water. Hongjoong let the tea leaves brew as he pulled out his divination's tome and turned to the correct section. Yeosang and San soon followed suit. 

The trio drank their tea and talked quietly between themselves, more so on Hongjoong's part. San was talking more, but it was always in short bursts, as if he was afraid that no one would listen if he trailed on like he usually did. But Hongjoong and Yeosang tried to keep him talking. 

When the tea was gone and all that was left were dregs, Hongjoong pulled his book a little closer and peered into his cup. He found the symbol right away and skimmed the page with his finger to find the matching symbol. His finger paused on the definition of the cross. 

_Trials and suffering._

Hongjoong swallowed thickly and looked back to the tea dregs in his cup. The cross stared boldly back at him.

"What did you get, Hongjoong?" Yeosang suddenly asked, trying to peak into his cup.

Hongjoong jumped at his question, not realizing that he had been staring inside the teacup for a few minutes. He quickly smiled and pulled it closer to his chest before Yeosang could see what was inside. "Nothing much," he laughed, trying to make it seem like nothing was wrong. "Just a kite."

Yeosang nodded. "That's cool," he looked down at his own cup and furrowed his brows. "I got a...club?"

Hongjoong watched as Yeosang found the right definition for the symbol. "The club—an attack is eminent," Yeosang read aloud. He looked back up to Hongjoong with wide eyes on the brink of panic. "Is this what I've been feeling?"

Hongjoong looked between Yeosang's cup and his own. He was aware that this year wasn't going to be the easiest, but it was apparent now that it wasn't about academics. This went farther than if Hongjoong was going to pass his N.E.W.Ts next year. 

Hongjoong set his cup down and gave Yeosang a calming smile. "These things aren't always one hundred percent, so don't take it too seriously, okay? Even if something does happen, I said I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you, remember?" 

Yeosang eyed the club symbol in his cup intensely. Hongjoong could practically hear the gears moving in his head. "I remember," he said quietly after a moment. Hongjoong knew, however, that Yeosang wasn't going to let it go. 

Hongjoong patted Yeosang's arm. "What about you, San?"

The Slytherin in question didn't answer, his eyes wide staring into the teacup that was placed into tense hands, his face almost a shade paler than before. Hongjoong frowned and reached a hand across the table. "San?"

A ringed hand took the cup out of his hands and Hongjoong looked up at Professor Eden as he studied whatever it was that had San shaken. 

Professor Eden's eyebrows furrowed slightly before smoothing out. "A cat and a falcon—a deceitful friend and a deadly enemy," he recited, his voice low. He sat San's cup down back onto the table and took one of San's hands into his and rested the other on top. "I think the four of us should have a chat at the end of class, right Yeosang?"

Yeosang winced before nodding tersely. 

Professor Eden squeezed San's hand gently before letting go and turning to aid another student as if nothing had happened. 

A headache started throbbing at Hongjoong's temples again, and he's not sure if it's because of the incense that the professor had burning at the front of the classroom.

The students filed out of the classroom not too long after and the three of them stood in front of Professor Eden's desk at the center of the room. Yeosang fidgeted slightly next to Hongjoong and San clutched tightly onto the strap of his bag on his other side. Hongjoong sat a hand at the center of their backs and started rubbing soothing circles. It wasn't much, but it was all he could offer at the moment. 

Professor Eden replaced the now burned out incense stick with a new one, lighting it with his wand. It was different than the one before, the gentle scent of frankincense filling the room. Hongjoong could already fill his headache starting to subside.

"Why don't we start with you, Yeosang," he started, softly. "You and Mr. Kim did intend to speak with me, correct?"

Yeosang nodded. "Yesterday morning, I woke up with a feeling that something wasn't right; that something was going to happen and it wasn't going to be good." Yeosang took a breath and Hongjoong continued to rub circles into his back. "It didn't go away like I thought it would, it just got worse. I feel anxious and sick, and then when I looked into the tea dregs earlier, the symbol was a club." 

"A feeling," Professor Eden repeated, like the word was familiar on his tongue. "You come from a family with a history of having the Sight, don't you?"

Yeosang nodded. "My grandmother has it."

"It's no wonder that you're having these feelings, then. It would be safe to presume that the dregs are connected to those."

Yeosang's features fell before he schooled his features into a less worried expression. 

Something in the professor's tone changed when he continued. "That leaves us to believe that San's have some truth to them—what it is, I don't know. I don't have much to offer in assurance, but I trust that it'll all end up okay as long as you look out for each other."

San nor Yeosang looked comforted at his words, and Hongjoong couldn't say he was, either. The professor practically repeated the same words that Hongjoong himself had said, and he was finding it difficult to believe them. 

Professor Eden looked over the three of them with an almost sad gaze. "Why don't you guys head to your next classes, now. I've already made you tardy enough. Send your professors my way if they have any qualms about where you were."

"Thank you, Professor," Hongjoong replied and turned away, letting the other two walk up the red carpeted stairs before him. He barely moved a foot before a hand reached out and caught his wrist, the grip tight and almost bruising. Hongjoong hissed and whirled around at the force of it. He came eye-to-eye with Professor Eden, their faces mere centimeters apart. Professor Eden's eyes where milky white and seemed to stare deep into Hongjoong's own. 

_"The snake is stubborn, but lonely,"_ he rushed out. His voice was distorted and thick, like there were two voices coming from his throat. _"A kind word can attract even the snake from his nest."_

Hongjoong frowned as the professor's irises slowly returned to it's dark color. Professor Eden's eyebrows creased and he looked down where he still gripped onto Hongjoong's wrist, the fabric of the robes wrinkling beneath his hold. He quickly released Hongjoong and stepped away. "What did I say?"

Hongjoong took a shuddering breath before he righted himself. "N-nothing, sir. I should get going, now."

Hongjoong didn't wait for him to respond as he turned and walked swiftly towards the trapdoor that was still open, no doubt being Yeosang's doing. The latter was in fact waiting for him at the bottom of the ladder, San nowhere to be seen. 

"Where's San?" He asked as he closed the trapdoor. 

"He left for his herbology class, said he couldn't afford to be later than he already was."

Hongjoong hummed. "Do you believe him?"

Yeosang sent him a look. "Not one bit."

Hongjoong couldn't find it in himself to scrounge up an appetite for dinner. Yeosang didn't even bother to try to eat, instead writing up instructions that were simpler and easier to follow for Mingi and Wooyoung's potions work. San rested against Wooyoung's shoulder with his eyes shut, having already finished his food. The sight settled Hongjoong's nerves just a little bit. 

Yunho poked Hongjoong's cheek. "What's with the long face? You've looked down ever since your divination class ended. Yeosang and San, too."

Hongjoong swatted his hand away and sighed. "It's nothing."

"But you just sighed. It's never nothing when you sigh."

Hongjoong resisted the urge to sigh again. Yunho knew him too well. "If it gets to the point where it is _something_ ," Yunho continued before Hongjoong could open his mouth. "At least tell me then, okay? I don't want you to deal with it all by yourself and stress yourself to death because of it."

Hongjoong stared at Yunho, his words catching him off guard. It was so like Yunho to want to share someone's burden so that they won't have to carry it alone, yet Hongjoong often forgot that he had a support system himself. Hongjoong's sure that he wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for Yunho.

Yunho looked up from his plate when Hongjoong had yet to reply, his cheeks bulging with food. "What?" he asked after swallowing his food when Hongjoong continued to stare. He lifted a hand to his face. "Is there something on my face?"

Hongjoong chuckled and caught Yunho's hand, stopping it from wiping at his cheek. "There's nothing, little lion. I'm just happy that I have you as my best friend."

Yunho blinked in surprise before he beamed and squeezed Hongjoong's hand. "Is that a promise?"

Hongjoong nodded. "It's a promise."

Yunho shook Hongjoong's hand playfully before letting it go and taking another bite of his food. "Has anyone seen Seonghwa again?"

The other's shook their heads, save for San, who seemed to have fallen asleep against Wooyoung's shoulder. At least he was getting some rest, Hongjoong thinks. 

"No, and if I"m being honest, I don't think I want to," Mingi said from beside Yeosang before lifting his cup. 

As if on cue, the Great Hall doors opened and Seonghwa stepped inside, his features blank of any emotion. He didn't spare them so much as a glance as he walked between the tables and towards the one at the front of the Hall. He stopped in front of Professor Seunghyun, who sat beside Headmaster Jiyong. 

Hongjoong watched as the two talked for a minute—Seonghwa's replies being short on his part—until Professor Seunghyun pulled out his wand from his sleeve. He flicked it once in the air and a piece of parchment appeared on the table where his plate should be. He proceeded to hover his wand over it, no doubt writing what Hongjoong assumed to be was Seonghwa's schedule. When he was finished, Professor Seunghyun held it up to him. Seonghwa took it and rolled up the scroll and stuck it into his bag. 

Seonghwa moved to walk away before Headmaster Jiyong called out to him. Seonghwa turned to him and Hongjoong watched perplexed when the headmaster asked him a question and something about Seonghwa seemed to crack; his shoulders slumping every so slightly before he pulled them back up and straightened his posture. The Slytherin nodded once before turning away. 

Hongjoong could see the way Seonghwa's lips moved, like he was repeating something to himself so that he'll remember it. It isn't until he walked past their table when Hongjoong could make out what he was saying and, if he already wasn't sure enough, Hongjoong was set on befriending Seonghwa no matter what it took. 

_"I'll be okay."_

San's eyes were opened and trained on Seonghwa when Hongjoong turned his attention back to the table. 


	4. Aren't We Just Terrified?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hand that gripped his wand shook, his hold on it almost tight enough for the wood to start cracking. He couldn't let himself become that. He couldn't let himself throw away all the hard work he put into keeping a reign on his control, into proving everyone wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Welcome to chapter 4!
> 
> I'm so sorry about the long wait. I was going through a really tough writer's block along with some personal things. I hope u can understand ;; 
> 
> This is a pretty long one and I'm quite proud of it. I hope u all enjoy it!!
> 
> Comments are always appreciated^^

Seonghwa awoke before any of the others. The sun just barely peeked out over the horizon, the pinks and golds filtering in through the window and painting everything in its path with its warm glow. Dawn was one of the only times of the day when Seonghwa's mind was the clearest, where the magic in his blood was nothing more than just a slight ache under his skin, hardly even there. It gave him time to think about things that didn't matter; like how he already missed the way Changmin would sternly, but not unkindly, keep him in check when the grip on his control was slipping. Or when Yunho would comfort him when he woke up from a nightmare and the shadows in his room seemed to warp around him, trapping him in darkness. Back when he had people to guide him and lean on.

But it also gave him the chance to just _be_ , to breathe and not have to worry about all the masks that he'll have to put up later for the rest of the days that he'll continue to attend the school.

Seonghwa stared unblinkingly at the wand in his hands. It was fairly long—thirteen inches if he remembers Changmin telling him correctly—and was quite flexible. The red oak was warm against his palm and when he gripped the handle, a prickling sensation ran up his arm.

"This wand is made up of a dragon heartstring core," Changmin had said. "Dragon wands will always bond strongly with its owner."

"They are quick learners, so you shouldn't have too much trouble with your spells. Also," Yunho's voice became lower, his eyes slightly darker. "They produce the most magical power, which makes it easier to turn to the Dark Arts—although not of it's free will."

Changmin nodded his head. "Remember how far you have come from where you started and that won't happen."

Seonghwa gripped the wand tighter.

Seonghwa released a sigh and finally stood from his bed, his knees popping loudly from how long he had been sitting. He was already awake and dressed, so there was no use in waiting around longer than he already has.

Seonghwa slipped his wand into the sleeve of his robes. He threw the strap of his bag over his shoulder when he heard quiet purring coming from behind him. Byeol was staring up at him when he turned, her eyes a mosaic of colors in the sun. Her tail flipped graciously and wrapped around her as she sat on his bed.

Seonghwa spared a glance at San's bed on the other side of the room. "I don't think San would want you near me," he whispered.

Byeol tilted her head before she stood up again and made her way over to him. She headbutted his thigh and purred softly, some strands of her fur already clinging to his robes. Sighing, Seonghwa dropped a hand onto her head, rotating from scratching behind her ears and rubbing her cheek.

"I'm sure San wouldn't appreciate you getting attention from me."

"She can get attention from whoever she wants."

Seonghwa whipped his head up. San was sitting up with one hand clutching onto the curtain that he had pulled away, the other rubbing at his eye. San looked up at him with still hazy eyes and a voice raspy from sleep.

"Byeol always has a great sense of people so if she wants your attention, you must be lucky," San pulled the curtain the rest of the way and stood. He stretched his arms over his head and Seonghwa heard the faint sound of one of his shoulders popping. "But that doesn't mean I trust you."

Seonghwa didn't reply, just shifted the strap on his shoulder and walked out of the room, leaving Byeol and San looking after him.

Something in him felt accomplished; San didn't trust him, which meant that his plan of making everyone keep their distance from him was working. If Seonghwa ever lost his control, the probability of someone getting hurt was slim to none. He liked those odds.

The common room was silent and vacant except for the few early risers that were busy getting their things together. A boy with silver hair looks up from where he was tying his shoes. He isn't wearing his robes, but the Head Boy badge is pinned over his heart on his sweater.

"You must be Seonghwa!" he grins widely. His voice was too loud for so early in the morning. "I'm Myungjun, but you can call me MJ. It's a little easier to remember, don't you think?"

MJ stands and rolls up the sleeves of his sweater to his elbow. A woven red and gold bracelet wraps snugly around his right wrist, a stark difference to the colors of his tie; a small singular golden charm in the shape of a lion dangles from it. MJ walks over to one of the chairs on the far side of the room, his robe resting on the back of it and he picks it up, swinging it over his forearm.

"San told me you already have your schedule, so if you have any questions about that don't be afraid to ask!" MJ turns to him, the smile still on his face, gentle. "I can walk you to your first class if you want?"

Seonghwa wants to say yes; he has so many questions about how things work and where some of the classes were. He was in an environment that he had little information on and he was walking blindly, like an animal changing habitats. "No," Seonghwa says, his tone harsher than he meant it to be. But he guesses it's better that way. "I can do it myself."

MJ doesn't seem deterred by it, though. He shrugs his shoulders. "You're the lone wolf type, I get it. I was like you, once. Don't let that take over your life." Sending him a small wave, MJ walked out of the common room.

_I was like you, once._ Seonghwa scoffed. As far as Seonghwa knew, there was no one else like him. No one else who had to control the dark magic that was forced into them when they were just a child, barely ten years old; no one else who was tainted with the Dark Arts as he had been. No one else who had to watch their parents die before their own eyes while being able to do nothing to stop it. It was a cold and lonely world he had been in, one where the sunlight felt like a miracle that was too far away. And now he was suddenly shoved into a world that he had been deprived of for years after a majority of the Ministry treated him like a man-made monster, like a ticking time bomb that no one knew how to defuse. As if it was Seonghwa's fault that he was living with the after-effects of what happened.

In a way, he was glad that there was no one else like him, even if he was dealing with everything alone. Yunho and Changmin helped in every way they could, but they were all attempts that were shots made in the dark.

Even if it left Seonghwa all on his own, it still meant that he could stop what happened to him from ever happening to someone else.

Seonghwa adjusted his robes, and with quick steps and the itching under his skin starting to blossom, left the common room.

Seonghwa wouldn't say that he was excited for his first class of the year, but it was a subject he already had knowledge in, considering that Yunho and Changmin had taught it to him with their best ability as if his life depended on it.

And, to a point, it did.

Knowing Defence Against the Dark Arts was not only vital to everyone's safety, but also Seonghwa's own in more ways than one would imagine. The dark magic that had been forced into him practically turned him into a magnet for all things related to the Dark Arts, according to Yunho. Being exposed to the Dark Arts made him more vulnerable for attacks and losing his own control, and they would be damned if Seonghwa let go of all that he'd accomplished.

Getting to Classroom 3C wasn't much of a hassle. After a moment of staring at his schedule, Seonghwa followed some of the other Slytherin who were talking about the subject—or, rather, the professor that no one seemed to know anything about—up onto the third-floor and, according to his schedule, off of Serpentine Corridor.

A handful of students stood in the hall before the classroom, mingling around despite the door already being open. Green and silver shifted with blue and copper, voices rising with laughter despite the early hour. Seonghwa wondered how people could already be so lively, their eyes shimmering with mirth in the rising sun that shined through the window.

Would Seonghwa be like that? If his parents were still alive, if he had attended Hogwarts when he was eleven like he was supposed to, if his nightmares were regular dreams that didn't haunt him until morning, would he be like them? Full of life, happy and _worth_ something?

The classroom was cool when Seonghwa walked in, the draft sending a shiver down his spine as he looked around the room. Two columns of tables were situated in the middle of the room, an iron chandelier hanging low above them. The skeleton of what looked like a dragon also hung from the ceiling.

"You're a dragon, Seonghwa," Changmin's voice rang through his ears. "One of the most powerful creatures on this planet. You live by your own rules, not theirs. Make them fear that."

Seonghwa walked to one of the empty tables and sat his bag next to the chair, taking in the rest of the room and the students filing in. They looked a little younger than him, but that was to be expected. Professor Seunghyun insisted that, despite his prior knowledge on the subject, it would be best to put him with the fifth years to make sure he caught up well, as well as offering the option of private lessons for sixth year work. Seonghwa wasn't too upset about it; if he laid low and did what he expected himself to do, there wouldn't be a problem.

The chair moving beside him pulled Seonghwa out of his thoughts and away from the window he had been looking out of. A boy sat next to him, the Ravenclaw colors catching his eye. The boy pulled out a book and quill from his bag and gingerly sat them on the desk. He tucked a few strands of hair behind his ear, giving Seonghwa a perfect view of the birthmark next to the other's eye. It's only then that Seonghwa recognized him.

Yeosang turned to him, his eyes widening somewhat when they landed on Seonghwa.

"Good morning, Seonghwa," Yeosang says. The corners of his lips pulled up slightly.

Seonghwa stared at him in shock and confusion. Yeosang shouldn't be greeting him. Seonghwa insulted him and the others just the day before, he should be _avoiding_ him. Not looking at him, talking to him, smiling at him. It worked with San, why didn't it work with Yeosang?

"You missed breakfast this morning," Yeosang continued, his voice soft. Seonghwa didn't even realize—he hasn't exactly had an appetite the past few days. "I've brought a snack if you're hungry—"

"I'm fine," Seonghwa interrupted and turned away from him, his voice pinched. He felt Yeosang shift beside him.

"If you say so."

They sat in somewhat awkward silence, Seonghwa lost in his own thoughts until the professor entered the classroom. The classroom fell silent at his arrival and it didn't take long for Seonghwa to figure out why.

Professor Bang was a man of average height, but the aura that radiated from him made him seem larger than he was. His hair was dark and curly and fell into a pair of eyes that seemed to look through you. He wore a plain black v-neck sweater that was loosely tucked into his pants. The dark, shifting tattoo on his chest peaked like vines from under his sweater, and Seonghwa found himself captivated.

"Good morning," Professor Bang greeted, his voice lower than anything Seonghwa's ever heard, like rolling thunder in his chest. His eyes met Seonghwa's, the dark pools assessing him before he turned away.

Professor Bang grabbed his wand from his pocket and flicked at the sets of windows. Dark cloth appeared at the tops of the windows and flowed down until the light shining through dimmed almost completely, the flickering flames from the chandelier above now being their main source of light. Along with the chill in the room, the absence of light created a darker atmosphere that had Seonghwa's breath hitching.

_You're not underground_ , Seonghwa reminded himself in a voice that sounded awfully like Yunho. _You're_ _not there anymore, you're safe._

Professor Bang turned to them. "For the next couple of days," he starts slowly. "we're going to review. Please pack your things and move to the back of the room."

They did as they were told and moved towards the back. Seonghwa caught San's eye, wondering when the other had walked into class before San's gaze flicked behind him, towards Yeosang. There was something protective swirling in his sharp eyes as he watched the Ravenclaw stand beside Seonghwa.

Seonghwa couldn't blame him.

As soon as everyone was at the back of the class, Professor Bang flicked his wrist once more and the tables lifted and folded until they were stacked carefully onto each other on the far side of the room.

Professor Bang's face was impassive as he looked upon them. "Today's review: Boggarts."

Seonghwa's blood ran cold. If he was eager this morning, he was absolutely dreading it now. And it seemed many of the others were, too. Yeosang was tense beside him, his hand clutching tightly around the strap of his bag. He was looking down the line of students, a flicker of concern in his eyes as he looked at San. Understanding settled on Seonghwa's shoulders.

Yeosang wasn't worried about his own Boggart, he was worried about _San's_. Seonghwa wondered how someone could be so selfless to put another's worries before his own.

Seonghwa wondered if it was possible that he was like that—selfless. He supposes that, in some way, wanting to protect everyone from himself was selfless, but if he thought about it, it was also equal parts selfish. Pushing everyone away so that he wouldn't get hurt from unintentionally hurting and possibly losing people he cared about had its flaws, but it protected him.

Was it wrong for him to protect himself?

Seonghwa didn't have much experience with Boggarts. He knew about them, and the spell against them, but he never actually faced his own. The mere thought of it was almost enough to make bile burn in the back of his throat. Seonghwa swallowed against it though and stood up a little straighter.

Professor Bang shifted at the center of the class. "Could anyone tell me what a Boggart is?"

Multiple hands raised into the air at once, a Slytherin girl with pigtails wiggling her fingers. Professor Bang nodded at a Ravenclaw boy with brown hair and pouty lips.

"It's a shapeshifter with an unknown form that takes the appearance of the worst fear of the person that it encounters," the boy says, almost like he was reciting from the text.

Professor Bang dips his head. "Excellent, Minhyuk. Can you tell me the spell you would use to banish it?"

" _Riddikulus."_

Professor Bang gave him an appraising smile and walked to the large cabinet with a mirror on its door set up at the front of the class. "Would you mind demonstrating for us?"

Minhyuk's shoulders rose and his eyes widened a fraction. Seonghwa could practically feel the apprehension that Minhyuk was radiating. Minhyuk looked at the others around him, most of them refusing to meet his gaze. Minhyuk opened his mouth, looking torn at whether or not he should face his worst fear.

San stepped forward. "I will, Professor Bang," he says, confidently.

Yeosang lurches at Seonghwa's side, gripping his bag tightly, his knuckles pale and shaking.

Professor Bang eyes San up and down. "All right," he sets his hands at the edge of the door. He turned back to San with serious eyes. "Be ready."

San squares his shoulders, sharpens his eyes and tightens the hold on his wand. He didn't look like the boy Seonghwa had seen the day before; the boy who's smile had fallen because of Seonghwa. Maybe he was the same boy, just with a different mask this time.

At San's nod, Professor Bang opened the cabinet.

Seonghwa unconsciously held his breath as the creak of the door eerily filled the silent classroom. San stood straight, his back rigid, and waited.

The inside of the cabinet was dark, almost like a void. A single hand slowly reached out from that void and curled around the cabinet's frame. Seonghwa heard Yeosang take in a sharp breath and shift, almost like he wanted to reach out to San, to drag him away from whatever was coming out of the darkness.

San's hand that was wrapped around his wand shook slightly, just a barely-there tremor that Seonghwa almost missed. If he was so afraid of his Boggart, he could've just let Minhyuk or someone else demonstrate. Was it some notion to prove himself? Who would he need to prove himself to? Himself? Seonghwa?

Seonghwa scoffed inwardly.

Painstakingly slow, another hand took hold of the frame, and soon after a foot stepped out. Wavy blonde hair followed suit, and Seonghwa stared in confusion as the Boggart finally stepped out fully.

Wooyoung stood in front of San, dressed in his uniform sans his robes, his gaze hard and almost...disgusted.

Wooyoung took a step forward. "You're pathetic," he starts with a twisted smile, his tone sickeningly sweet yet dripping with venom. "It's a mystery that I was able to tolerate you for so long."

Wooyoung took another step and San flinched. Wooyoung smirked. "You can't even face me without shaking, because you know I'm right."

Seonghwa watched as Wooyoung's smirk quickly turned into a sneer. It was so sudden, almost like someone had flipped a switch.

"You _disgust_ me. You don't actually believe that I like you, right? That we're friends? Who would ever like such a disgraceful, filthy little _mudblood_ —"

_"Riddikulus!"_

Wooyoung stumbled back from the force of the spell hitting him in the center of his chest. He looked up at San with deceivingly pleading eyes that were previously spilling with disdain. "Sannie?"

Wooyoung started to shift and contort until all that was left of him was a single white flower floating to the floor. San lowered his wand, his shoulders shaking from his ragged breaths. He kneeled down to the flower just as Yeosang ran to him. Yeosang settled a hand at San's back.

"Are you okay?" he whispers while rubbing his hand in circles along his back.

San stood after a moment and set a hand atop of Yeosang's. "Peachy," he mumbles back.

Yeosang pushes him back towards the other students. "Go, it's my turn."

Taking one last look at the flower, San walked back to where he stood before, his eyes cast downward. Yeosang watched him go before turning back to the flower.

Where he had looked almost frightened before, there was now a hardness in Yeosang's eyes that looked too prominent to be overcome. Maybe it was watching San face his worst fear that gave him the courage to confront his own. Seonghwa was impressed if he had to admit.

What else would surprise him today?

The Boggart wasted no time in contorting itself to Yeosang's fear. The flower's once-white petals slowly turned black and with the sound almost like that of a cloud, burst into the air like pristine snow morphing into ashes. The ashes swirled into the air to create a giant black mass that somehow looked deeper than the darkness of the cabinet's shadows. Whisps gradually wrapped around Yeosang like fog, pushing together and pulling apart in black mists that Seonghwa would've found almost mesmerizing if the circumstances were different. Yeosang stared down the mass with steady eyes. The couple of times that Seonghwa had seen them they were always soft, kind, and sometimes dazed, like he was seeing something that everyone else couldn't. He had yet to see them this intense and if Seonghwa was honest, the sight of them sent a shiver down his spine. If looks alone could kill, the Boggart would've already been dead ten times over. 

Voices started to emerge from the mass, ghostly whispers that rose in volume and made Seonghwa's skin crawl. 

_"You could've saved us."_

_"We should never have trusted you."_

_"This is all your fault_ _!"_

The only sign that Yeosang heard the voices was the squint of his eyes, his birthmark morphing slightly with the movement, almost like a blooming flower. Yeosang calmly lifted his hand and pointed his wand at the Boggart. The black whisps moved with him, wrapping around his arm and hand and stopping once it reached his wand.

_"Riddikulus,"_ Yeosang muttered strongly. The banishing spell shot out and the black mass seemed to swallow it until it started to tremble. It grew larger and then smaller, shifting between the sizes until it curled into itself and, with a bright light, burst into multicolored confetti. Yeosang blinked up at the confetti that rained around him, some students giggling behind him as they played with the confetti. A small smile pulled at the corners of his lips.

"All right," Professor Bang calls out and claps his hands together. "Who's next?"

Seonghwa found himself spacing out sometime later as the other students took their turns. There have been a few giant spiders, a couple of cornish pixies, a clown, and even a dog. If there really was some type of higher being beyond this world, Seonghwa hoped that they'll cut him some slack and make his Boggart as simple as theirs. He knows it's useless to pray—the universe hasn't done anything for him in a long time—but he humors the thought.

"Mr. Park," Professor Bang calls out, pulling Seonghwa out of his thoughts. "It's your turn."

The professor spoke simple words that wouldn't have much effect on anyone, but they made Seonghwa suck in a sharp breath.

_"Mr. Park, it's your turn to speak," a hard voice called out to him. Seonghwa flinched at his tone, yet he couldn't take his eyes off of the fifty witches and wizards in their plum robes that looked at him with impassive gazes as they sat in the high stands around the cold dungeon. Seonghwa's hands shook roughly in his lap and he can feel the magic under his skin burn hotter the longer he sat there._

_Seonghwa couldn't find it in himself to speak, not with how they were looking at him. He could see the disdain in their eyes and uneasiness in the crease of their brows and the set of their jaws._ _To them, he was unpredictable, a bomb ready to be detonated with the push of the wrong button. To them, he was no longer human, no longer the son of one of their own colleagues_.

_To them, he was a monster in the making._

_A large, firm hand rests on top of Seonghwa's, stopping him from scratching at his arm. He didn't know when he started doing it, too out of it to even notice that Changmin had started talking in his place in a tone that would surely get him scolded by Yunho later._

_Yunho gave Seonghwa's hand a gentle squeeze. "Remember to breathe," he tells him. His voice is a lifeline to Seonghwa, a breath of fresh air where he felt as if he was drowning under the thick, suffocating scrutiny of the Ministry. "You're safe now. We've got you."_

_Yunho sounds so sure, so confident, that Seonghwa believes him—even if it is just a little bit. If Yunho says he's going to be okay, then he'll be okay. He trusts Yunho. He trusts Changmin._

_But he doesn't trust everyone else in the room._

_Seonghwa looks up at Yunho with wide eyes and Yunho meets him with a warm smile_ _._

_Maybe he believes Yunho more than he thought he did._

"Seonghwa?"

Seonghwa shook from his memories, the sight of the classroom curling back into his vision. There was a weight on his shoulder that he doesn't remember being there before, the unfamiliar warmth seeping through the cloth of his robes.

As if he had been burned, Seonghwa yanked his shoulder back, his eyes narrowing at whoever had touched him.

Yeosang stood there, his hand still hanging in the air. There was something in Yeosang's eyes that Seonghwa couldn't place, something that bordered on the edge between concern and understanding, as if he had seen everything that Seonghwa had.

Seonghwa couldn't stand the sight of it.

He turned away from Yeosang and headed towards the front of the class, his muscles tense as he caught Professor Bang's gaze that held a sense of sobriety that sent a shiver down Seonghwa's spine. He was used to the stares by now, had been for a long time, but he was used to the ones that burned almost as fiercely as the magic under his skin, the ones that were filled with a contempt that went deeper than any magic ever could. 

Seonghwa wasn't used to the ones that seemed to see through him and uncover everything that he had tucked tightly away into the darkest parts of himself.

He doesn't know which ones were worse. 

The final piece of confetti fell at Seonghwa's feet, the green shining almost tauntingly at him. His grip tightened around his wand the moment the rest of the confetti was pulled back to that one piece. They swirled around each other, rising from the floor swiftly and merging together until it took a humanoid shape, but never taking on noticeable features. Loud voices seemed to emerge from somewhere inside the body of confetti, a mixture of agonizing screams and cruel laughter that ran Seonghwa's blood cold. 

His parents' screams for help dimmed as the laughter grew louder, piercing like nails on a chalkboard. Seonghwa started to tremble as the laughter seemed to come from around him, encasing him. Sheer willpower kept his legs from giving out from under him despite how weak they felt. He couldn't let himself fall. Not now. 

After what felt like an eternity, the confetti merged further together once more, blending into different colors and Seonghwa could make out the beginnings of a person slowly morphing in front of him. 

Seonghwa held his breath as he watched with bile burning at the back of his throat, the last piece of confetti turning black and shifting into thin strands of hair on top of the figure's head. 

His eyes widened, but he couldn't say that he was surprised at what stood before him. 

It was like looking into a mirror, except his reflection was grinning at him with eyes that almost scorned, with a barely concealed threat that held a type of darkness Seonghwa had only seen once in his life. Magic pulsated off of him in strong waves, making Seonghwa take a shaky step back. 

His reflection didn't say anything, just looked at him with his grin growing wider and sharper by the second until he broke into manic chuckles. The same laughter that sounded just minutes before. 

Seonghwa's worst fear was himself; what he would become.

What he was bound to be. 

Yunho and Changmin never let Seonghwa dwell too much on what would happen if he lost his control over the magic inside him, if he gave into the fire that burned him from the inside out. Now, as he stood before a version of himself whose eyes slowly lost all coherency, he was almost thankful. 

The hand that gripped his wand shook, his hold on it almost tight enough for the wood to start cracking. He couldn't let himself become that. He couldn't let himself throw away all the hard work he put into keeping a reign on his control, into proving everyone wrong. 

Adjusting his hold on his wand, Seonghwa lifted his hand with conviction and pointed the tip of his wand at his reflection's face. 

_"Riddikulus,"_ Seonghwa breathed out, his voice cracking. He turned away the moment the spell hit the reflection's face, not bothering to see what the Boggart would shift into this time. He could feel the gaze of everyone digging into him as he grabbed his bag from where he left it beside Yeosang. Their eyes connected for a moment and Seonghwa almost dropped his bag at the sadness that he found lingering there. It made him feel small, so small and exposed and, for the first time, Seonghwa didn't want to run away. He wanted to make someone see that he wasn't what they thought he was, that he was still the same Seonghwa from years before everything went to hell. 

But that was why Seonghwa had to put as much distance between them as he could. 

He couldn't let them see the nasty parts of himself that he knew would draw them away even at the quickest of glances. So, he threw up another one of his masks as Yeosang readied himself to reach out to him, and rushed out of the room. 

Seonghwa didn't know where his still shaking legs were taking him, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. The burning under his skin was flaring, not enough to cause worry but enough to have his fingers twitching with the need to scratch. He stumbled, bracing himself against the wall with a hand as he took deep, shuttering breaths. 

"You've been through worse than this," Seonghwa squeezed his eyes shut. "Just breathe."

"Are you alright?" 

Seonghwa looked up sharply. Hongjoong stood at the end of the hall, his features pinched with concern; a lot more concern than he should be showing. 

Seonghwa's plan wasn't working as well as he thought it was, it seemed. 

Seonghwa swallowed against the lump in his throat. "What are you doing here?" 

"Just running an errand for a professor," Hongjoong replied smoothly, although the concern on his face didn't lessen. He made his way over to Seonghwa. "Are you okay?"

_No_ , he wanted to say, _I haven't been okay for a long time._ But Seonghwa just pushed off the wall and scoffed, standing up straight. "I'm fine."

With his legs a lot more stable, he walked past Hongjoong, putting enough space between them so that he wouldn't accidentally brush against Hongjoong's arms. He didn't make it far down the hallway before Hongjoong called out to him. 

"I'm sorry."

The words almost made Seonghwa stumble. His shoulders tensed as he looked back at Hongjoong, who hadn't moved an inch from his spot. "What?" he murmured as if he had never heard the words spoken to him before. 

Hongjoong squared his shoulders. "About yesterday..." He shuffled from one foot to the other. "I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. It was incredibly rude of me to jump the gun, especially since I wasn't even sure you had done anything wrong. I'm sorry."

Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong as if he had grown a second head. 

This wasn't supposed to be happening. Hongjoong wasn't supposed to be apologizing to him, not after what Seonghwa had said to him. He should've kept walking when he saw Seonghwa, not stopping to ask him if he was okay. Not looking at him with the most sincerity Seonghwa had only seen in a handful of people, half of which are dead. He didn't deserve the apology, he didn't deserve the sadness in Yeosang's eyes-

Something burned inside Seonghwa's chest, pushing against his lungs. 

"I was hoping that we could start over," Hongjoong continued, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. "That we could become friends."

_Friends_.

The word was like a punch to the gut. 

No matter how badly Seonghwa wanted it, no matter how desperate he got, he couldn't allow himself to get so close to Hongjoong. Because one of two things could happen: he would see all the things that Seonghwa had kept hidden and run away, or Seonghwa would somehow lose control and unintentionally hurt Hongjoong in the process. 

Both scenarios tore at his insides with ironlike claws. 

He couldn't let them happen. 

Seonghwa shifted, shoving his hands that started to shake into the pockets of his robes. "What makes you think I didn't mean everything I said?" 

A small frown flashed across Hongjoong's face. "Everyone needs a friend."

Seonghwa swallowed down the part of him that wanted to reach out and grab the olive branch that Hongjoong had thrown to him. In the end, it would eventually snap in half. "I don't."

The lie tasted like ash on his tongue. 

Seonghwa turned once more, not giving Hongjoong the chance to say something else, and turned the corner.

He doesn't realize until much later that his arms no longer burned. 


End file.
